You probably have little to fear,
I do my job well, I have a gift,
my life for your deaths.

But I am no Saint Nick, I can’t be everywhere,
I have my limitations, just in case you’re wondering,
yeah, I deliver on Christmas Eve too.

Just a matter of time,
I cannot lose for it has been ordained,
I am the ultimate mailman.

Rain and snow, I laugh at,
in my travels I trod fire and brimstone,
barefooted and willingly.

One of these days you will find a present on your doorstep,
my gifts have many wrappings, but never a return address,
no one refuses my packages, satisfaction is guaranteed.

The question is, do you open it?
I have not yet found a person,
who claimed to have everything.

I am sure your greed will prove sufficient,
even if you think that you have seen it all,
trust me, I have seen better.

At least take a peak,
you know you can’t resist,
everyone else did it.

Oh, so you seem to think that you are different than them,
somehow superior. I doubt it, I know my job.
You’re all the same, at least in the end.

Oh, I can see how much smarter you are,
your freewill, individuality and all,
I agree, keep saying it, don’t ever stop.

Yes, you are better than them,
you can see how pathetic they are,
blindly accepting my craft.

That’s why I made your present extra special.
You know you want it.
You know you want it.

I was trafficking illegal methods,
leaving them at random doorsteps,
across a country that denied my existence.